Hiya Guys & Girls this page will contain Jokes and Trivia and players/parents/siblings upcoming Birthdays throughout the new  season submitted by our players /parents,members . Anybody can post a comment or joke on this page as it will be monitored by the site admin who will IF suitable post the article

 Here`s a selection of a few jokes already posted:

What`s the best way too pull a fat bird…..  A Tractor (Ben Walsh)

Manchester City to win the league……. ( Tom Sherwood)

This woman rushes into the doctors.Looking very much worried and all strung out she frantically says” Doctor,take a look at me.When i woke i up this morning.I saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkly and pasty,my eyes are bloodshot and bulging out and i had this corpse like expression on my face ! WHATs wrong wiv me Doctor ? The Doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes,then calmly says ” Well i can tell you ur eyesight is great…….” (Mad Max)

What do you call a woman with a toilet on her head…?LOO LOO (Joe Ash)

Greater Manchester Police have confirmed that 2 premiership players had their houses burgled on the same night Ryan Giggs had 2 Champions league,10 Premiership ,4 FA Cup and 2 Carling Cup medals stolen. Richard Dunne has lost a kettle and a toaster…( Charlie )

Q.. How do Penguins build their houses.?                                                                                                                                                                                                                               A.. They IGLOO it together…..(Anthony K)

Doctor Doctor i swallowed a bone..Are you choking ! ..No i really did (conner mc)

Q.. What do you call a bull lying asleep on the floor ?  A.. a BULLDOZER (Charlie)

What do y0u call a frenchman who wears sandals ?….Phillipe Phillope (Charlie)

What did the Spanish Firemans wife call her twin sons……Jose  josb ( hose a hose b) (Patrick Mc .Jnr)

An old lady brings her pet rottweiller to the vet and says I`m very worried about  tiddles he doesnt come to me anymore when  i shout him The Vet picks tiddles up looks at him in the eyes ,checks his ears and rubs his nose. he then turns to the woman and says sorry but i`ve got to put him down the old lady starts crying and says you have to put him down cos he`s deaf ,Vet says no he`s too heavy  i can`t hold him anymore.(Pat)

Two pieces of sick (vomit) were sliding down the road in the rain when they turn the corner the first piece of sick starts crying..why you crying says the second sick..I was brought up round here says the first sick..(Joshua Mc)

My dads so fat when he turns round it`s his birthday..(Callum Mc)

Two crisps are walking down the road a car pulls up and says do you want a lift ?.. No  say the crisps we are Walkers( Charlie)

Your so stupid when the Police said you broke the speed limit you offered to fix it….(Anthony K)

Why did tigger stick his head in the toilet ….He was looking for Pooh…(Mikey K)

What did the traffic light say to the van ?…Don`t look i`m changing… (Nathan M)

What do you call a Tellytubby that has been robbed ?…A telly!!…(Mason L)

How do you stop a Rhinoceros from charging ?…Take away it`s credit card…(Malc)

A Panda walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a meal,when the meal finally arrives ,he eats it quickly,then stands up pulls out a gun and shoots a drunk ,and then walks out of  the bar.A customer walks over to the bartender and says “what was all that about”,bartender replies “look up Panda in the dictionary pal” Customer looks up the word Panda in the dictionary “well ” said the bartender “whats it say” customer laughs and says  “Panda” eats ,shoots ,and leaves ( Karl S)

Where do Pirates go shopping…?ARRR GOS (Ellie H)

Q…What do you call a pig that does Karate… ?

A… A Pork Chop (Anthony K)

Q… What do you get when you cross a poison ivy with a Four -leaf clover… ?

A… A rash of good luck ( Anthony K)

Birdie Birdie in the sky,You ve dropped some white stuff in my eye,I`m big girl I won`t cry,I`m just glad that cows don`t Fly…(Michelle K)